A while back in one of our couples classes at church I remember the leaders of our class asking this question and it really stuck with me. “Will your adult children want to spend time with you? Will they want to come home?” Seriously think about that for a moment. Will your adult children want to come home and spend time with you? When we are raising our children everything doesn’t have to be perfect at home. They don’t have to always be showered with gifts. Everything doesn’t always have to go their way (in fact, it shouldn’t).
It is our job as good parents to make sure they always feel loved, always feel wanted, and always feel important. The way we treat our children today is more than likely a direct result of the way we were raised ourselves. Many of us have had wonderful childhoods and were raised with a tremendous amount of love and family togetherness and that way of life seems to just oooze from us onto our own children. Some, however were not raised that way and that way of life can also oooze onto our children unless we make it a point to change. If you always tell your children how worthless they are, how they will never amount to anything and that they are no good – why on earth would they ever want to return home once they leave? On the other hand if you are always building them up and nurturing them with love and care and kindness you will have a hard time keeping them away once they leave. lol The words we speak to our children, the words that were spoken to us when we were children will never leave us. Whether good or bad. The way we treat our children and they way we were treated will also never leave us. Whether good or bad. We have the choice to make and I for one want my kids to love our home and cherish the time spent here. I want them to feel safe and secure here, not just when they are young but as they age also. I want them to always feel welcome to come home and bring their family and for the whole lot of them to know they are loved and wanted.
One of my favorite things this time of year is seeing all of the cars gathered in the driveways when we drive up and down the road from one family get together to another. It always blesses my heart so much to see all the children and grandchildren and their families gathering together at parents houses to celebrate, eat and fellowship together.
Take some time to really think about my original question. Will your adult children want to come home and spend time with you? And then I have some good advise to give you. Adjust accordingly starting today. If you need to show a little more love and kindness start now, it is never too late no matter how old your children may be. And pray for God to guide you in the right direction. We only have one family – we should all make the most of it.
In His Love,
from “A Heart For My Home” blog
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A Heart For My Home Blog – Previously Jen’s Journey blog
Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.